ERGOR’S ESSENTIAL CAVE EXPLORING RULES

3.    Carry three sources of light.
4.    Let somebody know where you are going.
5.    Leave the animals alone.
6.    Take only pictures, leave only footprints.

Clearly a revision of those rules is required if we are to have any cave exploring tradition to spin for our grandchildren, if any.

Here is a list of my New & Improved Rules of Cave Exploring to heighten the adventure and make the trip report more interesting.  I will illustrate each in turn:

    ERGOR’S NEW RULES FOR CAVERS
1.    Depart from the party rapidly so you can’t hear them yell “Come back!”
2.    Wax your hard hat, but don’t wear it often because it will muss your hair.
3.    Carry six sources of light, drop four of them, throw the other two at dark shadows, and rely on ambient light in the cave.
4.    Tell nobody where you are going; they may scoop you otherwise.
5.    Pick up and examine closely all living things, especially those with pointy teeth.
6.    When the passage behind falls in, press on.

To be sure, cavers may add to this list, but I mainly wanted to address safety.  Risk and conflict make drama.  Safety is a story killer.

In “The Descent”, a story of how some of the loudest screaming women on earth drink beer and go caving, the party heads for Appalachian Mountains.  We know those caves have never been explored properly.  They are so far up the mountains that only logging trucks can survive in the thin air.  The yawning